Shit.

Shit Happens.

Taoism - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
Hinduism - "this shit happened before"
Confucianism - "confucious say 'shit happens' "
Buddhism - "shit will happen to you again"
Zen - "what is the sound of shit happening?"
Islam - "if shit happens it is the will of Allah"
Sikhism - "leave our shit alone"
Jehova's Witness - "knock knock, shit happens"
Atheism - "i don't believe this shit"
Agnosticism - "can you prove that shit happens?"
Catholicism - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
Protestantism - "shit happens, amen to that"
Judaism - "why does the shit always happen to us?"
Orthodox Judaism - "so shit happens, already"
Televangelism - "send money or shit will happen to you"
Rastafarianism - "let's smoke this shit"
Hare Krishna - "shit happens rama rama"
Nation of Islam - "don't take no shit"
New Age - "visualise shit happening"
Shintoism - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
Hedonism - "i love it when shit happens"
Satanism - "sneppah tihs"
Capitalism - "this is MY shit"
Feminism - "men are shit"
Existentialism - "what is shit, anyway?"
Scientology - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
Mormonism - "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
Baptism - we'll wash the shit right off you"
Voodoo - shit doesn't just happen - we made it happen"
Wicca - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"
Disneyism - bad shit doesn't happen here"
Communism - "let's share the shit"
Marxism - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
Conspiracy Theorism - "THEY shit on us"
Psycho-Analysis - "tell me about your shit"
Darwinism - "survival of the shittiest"
Amish - "modern shit is useless"
Suicidal - "i've had enough of this shit"
Optimism - "shit won't happen to me"
Trekism - "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
Shakespearean - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
Descartes - "i shit therefore i am"
Freud - "shit is a phallic symbol"
Lawyers - "for enough money, i can get you out of shit"
Acupuncturist - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
Dog - "i just shit in your shoe"
Cat - "dogs are shit"
Mouse - "oh shit! a cat!"
Politically Correct - internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
Einstein - "shit is relative"
Family Gathering - "relatives are shit"
Materialism - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
Vegetarianism - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
Fatalism - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
Environmentalism - "shit is biodegradable"
Statistician - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
Hip-Hop - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
Tantrism - "fuck this shit"
Cynicsm - "we are all full of shit"
Surrealism - fish happens"