Shit.

Shit Happens.

Taoism - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
Hinduism - "this shit happened before"
Confucianism - "confucious say 'shit happens' "
Buddhism - "shit will happen to you again"
Zen - "what is the sound of shit happening?"
Islam - "if shit happens it is the will of Allah"
Sikhism - "leave our shit alone"
Jehova's Witness - "knock knock, shit happens"
Atheism - "i don't believe this shit"
Agnosticism - "can you prove that shit happens?"
Catholicism - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
Protestantism - "shit happens, amen to that"
Judaism - "why does the shit always happen to us?"
Orthodox Judaism - "so shit happens, already"
Televangelism - "send money or shit will happen to you"
Rastafarianism - "let's smoke this shit"
Hare Krishna - "shit happens rama rama"
Nation of Islam - "don't take no shit"
New Age - "visualise shit happening"
Shintoism - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
Hedonism - "i love it when shit happens"
Satanism - "sneppah tihs"
Capitalism - "this is MY shit"
Feminism - "men are shit"
Existentialism - "what is shit, anyway?"
Scientology - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
Mormonism - "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
Baptism - we'll wash the shit right off you"
Voodoo - shit doesn't just happen - we made it happen"
Wicca - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"
Disneyism - bad shit doesn't happen here"
Communism - "let's share the shit"
Marxism - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
Conspiracy Theorism - "THEY shit on us"
Psycho-Analysis - "tell me about your shit"
Darwinism - "survival of the shittiest"
Amish - "modern shit is useless"
Suicidal - "i've had enough of this shit"
Optimism - "shit won't happen to me"
Trekism - "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
Shakespearean - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
Descartes - "i shit therefore i am"
Freud - "shit is a phallic symbol"
Lawyers - "for enough money, i can get you out of shit"
Acupuncturist - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
Dog - "i just shit in your shoe"
Cat - "dogs are shit"
Mouse - "oh shit! a cat!"
Politically Correct - internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
Einstein - "shit is relative"
Family Gathering - "relatives are shit"
Materialism - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
Vegetarianism - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
Fatalism - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
Environmentalism - "shit is biodegradable"
Statistician - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
Hip-Hop - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
Tantrism - "fuck this shit"
Cynicsm - "we are all full of shit"
Surrealism - fish happens"

Vicissitude.

The winds of fortune, don't blow the same anymore. I seem to have fallen out of grace with lady luck, blessings no longer make me the envy of the world. This empire i used to govern, now rebel against my every whim. Legions upon legions of men under my command, only curse my very existence and spit at my feet. Allegiances that once stood like concrete towers, crumble under the stench of traitors with gold. Once a cordially invited guest of the gods at their residence, now a mortal left to lead the life of the dying. King of the universe, thrown into the pits where rabid dogs snap at my heel.

Deep inside your soul lies a golden harp that only ever hums for you and you alone. You think you're everyone's baby but sadly, we can breathe without you dear. How great the change huh?

Exhilaration.

The feelings that jolt my senses when i see old faces with new hairstyles, is almost impossible to explain. Nothing beats hanging out with these old acquaintances, only best friends come close. The memories surround us like an evening fog, reminiscing about the days when we were classmates who did everything under the sun in school.

Add beach football to all that is like adding butter to bread, absolutely wonderful. 10 - 7, the final score. With me destroying my glasses in the process, thanks ah Yen Soon! No hard feelings though, i'd let you kick a soccer ball from 1m away into my face everyday if it means our class gets together every month or so.

Special thanks to everyone who bothered to put aside your plans and turn up. In order of who i saw first : Min Hui, Kim Siew, Hanis, Suriana, Terence, Yen Soon, Michael, Bernard, Yan Xiang, Alex, Darryl, Guo Xin, Michelle and Jaena. I sincerely hope each and everyone of you enjoyed yourself.

Now all that's left before we go our seperate routes towards a new life is the "April's Fool Barbeque". As the name suggests, it's on the 1st of April. I'm making sure everyone turns up.. hopefully.

Friends are actually all a kid(at heart) needs.

Flawless.

My life's resolution.

1. Buy my Grandmother a bungalow with a garden so she'll fulfill her dream of planting her very own flowers.

2. Make my parents the proudest parents any child could ever have.

3. Get married to my wife with the setting sun illuminating the background in a splash of orange and blue on a cliff by the sea.

4. Tell my Dad i love him like no other son loves their dad.

5. Lay on a large open field at night and gaze carelessly at the stars.



Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceded. It is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure, whatever comes.

Nincompoop.

Doing floor is like, crap please. You have to serve customers with a stick-on smile and act as if you love your job like Denise loves Britney. Which actually isn't alot of love to be honest. So many of them mumble to themselves when they're ordering. You bloody buffoon, i'm pretty tall and sound doesn't travel all that well upwards. Be grateful i'm not spitting gobs of mucus into your clam chowder when i pick it up from kitchen.

A thumbprint on a goblet isn't gonna' give you prostrate cancer or herpes either, so don't make us change your wine glass until you've satisfied your own perverted obsession with cleanliness. It's gonna' have your stains after you hold it anyway. Don't complain to management that there's a tiny hair in your chicken chop, then refuse an entirely new plate when we graciously offer another. We aren't dogs that shed you simpleton. How many times have you seen an ant in your glass of water and downed it in end, ant and all.

Don't whine about the lack of toilets too. Can't control your bowels like a diabetic? Eat at a hawker centre you moron, they've got many cubicles for nature's call. Heck you can even pay 10 cents per entry for all i care. You guys come, get all serious about eating then realise happy hour's over and the alcohol prices are all higher, then leave. If you don't have sufficient cash to order a jug of Tiger at $26 then go to a coffee shop where some 50 year old woman with tattoos on her ankles in a skimpy miniskirt will serve you. I bet they have air-con blowing and they serve you popcorn complimentary of the beer too.

You fussy bastards deserve to get shot. Like with a machine gun.

Maelstrom.

Not everything has to rhyme, not everything has to be civilized. We could drown in our personal elation amidst utter chaos and devastation.

Here goes,

You grab my hand and with the strength of a hundred million suns, you lift me to my feet.

The moonlight makes your mischief glow like the fireflies around us. I race you to the waterside and you shove me in, screaming with primal delight.

Diving in, i catch but a fleeting glance of what you were when we first met. Changed you have, into more than i ever dared dream of, much more than i could ever comprehend.

I'm just a kid, a naive rebel with no sense of direction, a lone figure in the distance. What could i have done that the gods saw fit to bestow upon me an angel of infinites?

The Belle of the Ball, she is.

Our lips touch. Like the collision of two planets in space, the energy a from a dying star. Even in the dark, i can see how happy you are.

In your atmosphere, everything else pales in comparison. Not even the nightingales from which come forth melodies that sooth the soul nor the grass that flows like water with each subtle breeze. The smells, oh the fragrances! Bottle them i would, for you i would battle the giant and slay every dragon. The fairies whisper, jubilance etched in their voices. The great pines shiver, not because autumn is in session but because never have they seen beauty that comes close to rivaling yours.

Howling agreements that travel for miles, the wolves nod in approval of the wise oaks.

Droplets plummet to the ground as we leave the lake together, our footsteps a rehearsed dance. Even our heartbeats are in sync. It reverberates all around, creating the symphony for the universe. The stars converge, the rendezvous which is you.

Swirling is a maelstrom of toys, little fire engines and planes. The children squeal with overwhelming excitement. They throw their arms around your neck and swear to never let go.

The philosophers have no explanation, the deities baffled. The aura mesmerizes, like a spellbinding trance. Your aura, a meditation soothing the heart.

My heart.

Coldplay.

28th February.

I just watched Batman : The Dark Knight. It's 5.27am and i'm typing this on the Notebook application in my iPhone. The time just jumped and now it's 5.28am. The volume of the song playing on my speakers is lowered to 2, so i won't disturb my brother sleeping above me. It's 5.29am now. Clocks by Coldplay is fading and soon, Fix You will start. It's started now. 5.30am, when tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace, could it be worse? I hate this feeling, i hate it i hate it. 5.31am, high up above or down below, when you're too in love to let it go but if you never try then you'll never know just what you were. I can't sleep, i can hear the fan blowing. 5.32am, i will try to fix you. Who am i kidding huh? I really really want you, all these movies just makes the feeling pulsate through my heart, my brain. Fix You is still playing, tears stream down your face when you lose something you can't replace, tears stream down your face and iiiiiiiiii, tears stream down your face, i promise you i will learn from my mistakes. 5.33am, lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. I want to fix this, bring all those feelings back, frame them up. Don't you get it, i don't want anyone else. They'll never be as great as you. The feeling's gone now, it comes and goes like my breath. Now i don't want you back.

I hope you read this, i hope you understand. You never will. 5.36am, but i wait for it.

5.38am, now now.

Life in Technicolour II. I just wanna' hug you, you know? I just want a blizzard to freeze us over. Every night there the headlights are glowing. Baby it's a violent world. I really want for us to be statues, cemented to the spot and our bodies immortalized. But i'll still be able to feel you. 5.41am, time came creeping. Every road is a ray of light. And you me. Oh love don't let me go, won't you take me where the street lights glow. 5.42am, now my feet won't touch the ground. We'd feel each other, just feel each other. Pour our souls out and just hug, forever and ever and ever. I'd kiss you if possible. I really hate this feeling.

Just because i'm hurting, doesn't mean i'm hurt, doesn't mean i didn't get what i deserve. I remember everything i can, but some i still lose.

A glance at the time, 5.44am.

Thank god for Coldplay, every river that you tried to cross, every gun you ever held went off. 5.45am.

Done.